Day 5: My Provider

“And my God will meet all [my] needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19, NIV).

Praise the Lord!

I thank God for another day! Today was very busy, but very fulfilling! I was able to get some groceries today! For someone who has no source of income, being able to buy what you need is glorious! I bought things I needed (and a little bit of things I wanted). All glory belongs to God, though. Anyway, today was filled with snow and running errands. But even in the midst of all of that, God opened my eyes to see beauty! There’s always beauty.

Snow_Umass

But, what I really want to talk about tonight is God’s provision for me. I used to think that God being a provider meant that He gives money, nothing else; but He provides in so many ways (i.e. comfort, favor, etc), and I was able to experience at least one more way today.

Not so long ago a friend of mine, out of the goodness of her heart, gave me a $50 gift card. She said, “You need it more than I do.” A part of me was overwhelmed by such love and sacrifice (the gift card was a gift to her as well), the other part of me was sad because I was (am) in such a state of dire financial need. Anyway, I accepted the gift thinking that I’d save it and pass it on to someone else who would need it. That was the plan until I realized I needed some groceries. I was asking God how I would get them. I thought that I was going to use the last $10 I had, which was supposed to be a savings. Then I remembered the gift card. I took it with me to the store thinking just in case. Long story short, the things I got exceeded $10. So, I used the gift card. I thank God for my friend. What’s more is that I had some visitors today, a lovely couple! They came to spend some time with me, and I, again, used the card to get something for them to eat. The card was a blessing to others as well! I just kept thinking about how God knew that I would need help.

What’s more is that my my campus supervisor asked me to send him a report of my week. He asked me about my physical, emotional, and spiritual state of being. I was so glad he asked because lately I have been feeling as though no one asks me how I am doing (physically, emotionally– especially emotionally). It may not necessarily be true, but I have been feeling that way. I was happy because God used my supervisor to answer a prayer that I didn’t even pray for– it was more of a desire. So, He provided an outlet for me!

I am honestly grateful to God for His provision! He keeps supplying all my needs! All of them! 

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Day 4: My Teacher

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:12-13, NIV).

CONTENTMENT!!!! 

I thought I had already learned this… but no; just learned it overnight. We must be content in every aspect of our lives. An author says this, “The Bible has a great deal to say about contentment—being satisfied with what we have, who we are, and where we’re going” (http://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-contentment.html).  I have learned to be satisfied with who I am (a woman with physical and emotional scars; I am short; I have one eye that’s “lazy”; I love to sing, cook, clean, write, etc). I am satisfied with where I am going (my future and destination are secured in God’s hands). What I have been having problems with is what I have! I don’t think I have a lot, according to me (but I have A LOT more than other people in other parts of the world).

WHY AM I NOT SATISFIED/CONTENT WITH WHAT I HAVE?

Perhaps it’s because I had an expectation that is not being met; perhaps it’s because I feel like God has forgotten about me, or that He has given me the short end of the stick… I don’t know…

But, I thank God that (and I think it’s for real this time) I have learned contentment. I had a dream overnight, and all I did was help people send emails. The joy that was in my heart was out of this world! I woke up (and, actually, went to sleep) with the song “Background”, by Lecrae, in my head; I felt as if God was telling me, “Dayo, what if I want you to stay in the background?” The answer was yes. Perhaps I have been feeling as though God doesn’t want to use me anymore, so I have been feeling overlooked (in every aspect of my life); I have been feeling like an afterthought, not because of man, but because I didn’t feel useful to God anymore! So, I have been craving prominence, wanting to be in the foreground, hoping that God would notice me and decide to use me again… how messed up is that?!?! I was subconsciously trying to manipulate my Maker… 😥

That was yesterday! I praise God because I have learned to be satisfied with where He has me! There is a reason for it. I can truly say, with confidence, what Paul was saying, that he can do ALL THINGS– even being content– because God granted him strength and grace! I wonder what the journey was like for him. God is an awesome teacher! He taught me this lesson in the most gentle and humbling way.

I am now looking at things differently!