To my Mother (In-Law)

“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown” (Proverbs 12:4, NIV).

“Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.” — Anonymous

The quotation makes me laugh. It’s funny because it’s true. But why do mother-in-laws get a bad rep?

Honestly, the fact that I will one day have a mother-in-law wasn’t  really at the forefront of my mind because I have somehow (subconsciously, I guess) always assumed that I would have the best mother-in-law in the world! That is my prayer. But something changed my mind when a mother at my church advised me to start praying for my husband and his family, because when I marry him, I marry his family as well. I listened.

Two things inspired me to write this letter. One was a Yoruba movie I watched yesterday. In it, a mother put a spell on her son because she didn’t want him to love anyone else above her. The other was the Proverbs 12:4 verse that really caught my attention while having quiet time.

As I think about what kind of mother-in-law I’ll have, I aim, starting now, to be my husband’s crown, adding to him. I pray my mother-in-law understands this.

Dear Mother (In-Law),

Thank you for raising a fine man! I know he will not forget the godly principles you have imparted on him.

As much as I love and respect my husband, I understand that you do, too. Mum, my desire is that you will be a source of guide for me, teaching me how to live with him, love him, care for him, etc. I desire unity in our family. I desire to call you Mum. It is my desire that you take me as your own daughter, love me, scold me, even discipline me.

I want to reassure you that I am not here to replace you or compete with you. But, as it is, God has given me the duty and privilege of being his help meet; this is my mission and priority. I pray I succeed in it everyday. I am his crown, not a crow. I submit, not overpower. I respect, not disgrace. I love my husband; I am the bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. God joined us together in His own divine wisdom. God has allowed him to start his own family, and with God our side, we will excel and flourish.

Take me as your own daughter; I write to you as such. I appreciate you. I pray that God will continue to bless and honor you. May you continue to be your own husband’s crown. My hope is that I will be the best wife to my husband, as the Lord gives me strength and grace. I pray you will continue to pray for me– because when you do, you are also praying for your son.

Don’t forget: we are on the same team, mum.

With Love,
Your Daughter (In-Law)

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A Letter

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4, NIV).

Dear Agents,

To everyone who has ever hurt me: thank you.

I hated you but now I appreciate you.

You tried to bury me and sell me, but you facilitated my move from prison to palace. You tried to cheat me and not give me what I had worked for, but you facilitated my change of heart so much so I fought with God and He changed my name. You tried to keep me captive but you only pushed my Father in Heaven to react on my behalf and bring me to my land of milk and honey. You tried to pursue me and kill me because of the glory of God in me but you just allowed God to mold me into the daughter after His own heart, forever adoring and singing praises to His name. You tried to break my heart and pursue others while I waited for you, devoted to you, but you only allowed God to work in me and show me how to love unconditionally, how to work for something you love, mirroring Him in this world, molding me to become the woman clothed in Proverbs 31.

You tried to drown me but God came to my rescue. You tried to kill me but I am alive in Christ. You tried to bury my spirit but now the Holy Spirit resides in me. You tried to blind me but God removed the scales and gave me new sight and vision. You tried to get rid of me, tried to finish me off with loneliness but God met me and gave me this divine revelation: you are just facilitator to my destiny.

I am still standing, stronger only because of Him, wiser because He gives me wisdom, loving because He has loved me through it all. I just hope one day you will taste and see that the Lord is good and you will appreciate Him even for your suffering.

Thank you! I am knowing Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His suffering; I am becoming more like my Father, which is my goal.

Thank you!

Sincerely,
The seed you tried to bury