This pretty much captures the past few days.
Praise Jesus for this peace that I can’t explain!
This pretty much captures the past few days.
Praise Jesus for this peace that I can’t explain!
“And my God will meet all [my] needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19, NIV).
Praise the Lord!
I thank God for another day! Today was very busy, but very fulfilling! I was able to get some groceries today! For someone who has no source of income, being able to buy what you need is glorious! I bought things I needed (and a little bit of things I wanted). All glory belongs to God, though. Anyway, today was filled with snow and running errands. But even in the midst of all of that, God opened my eyes to see beauty! There’s always beauty.
But, what I really want to talk about tonight is God’s provision for me. I used to think that God being a provider meant that He gives money, nothing else; but He provides in so many ways (i.e. comfort, favor, etc), and I was able to experience at least one more way today.
Not so long ago a friend of mine, out of the goodness of her heart, gave me a $50 gift card. She said, “You need it more than I do.” A part of me was overwhelmed by such love and sacrifice (the gift card was a gift to her as well), the other part of me was sad because I was (am) in such a state of dire financial need. Anyway, I accepted the gift thinking that I’d save it and pass it on to someone else who would need it. That was the plan until I realized I needed some groceries. I was asking God how I would get them. I thought that I was going to use the last $10 I had, which was supposed to be a savings. Then I remembered the gift card. I took it with me to the store thinking just in case. Long story short, the things I got exceeded $10. So, I used the gift card. I thank God for my friend. What’s more is that I had some visitors today, a lovely couple! They came to spend some time with me, and I, again, used the card to get something for them to eat. The card was a blessing to others as well! I just kept thinking about how God knew that I would need help.
What’s more is that my my campus supervisor asked me to send him a report of my week. He asked me about my physical, emotional, and spiritual state of being. I was so glad he asked because lately I have been feeling as though no one asks me how I am doing (physically, emotionally– especially emotionally). It may not necessarily be true, but I have been feeling that way. I was happy because God used my supervisor to answer a prayer that I didn’t even pray for– it was more of a desire. So, He provided an outlet for me!
I am honestly grateful to God for His provision! He keeps supplying all my needs! All of them!
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:12-13, NIV).
I thought I had already learned this… but no; just learned it overnight. We must be content in every aspect of our lives. An author says this, “The Bible has a great deal to say about contentment—being satisfied with what we have, who we are, and where we’re going” (http://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-contentment.html). I have learned to be satisfied with who I am (a woman with physical and emotional scars; I am short; I have one eye that’s “lazy”; I love to sing, cook, clean, write, etc). I am satisfied with where I am going (my future and destination are secured in God’s hands). What I have been having problems with is what I have! I don’t think I have a lot, according to me (but I have A LOT more than other people in other parts of the world).
WHY AM I NOT SATISFIED/CONTENT WITH WHAT I HAVE?
Perhaps it’s because I had an expectation that is not being met; perhaps it’s because I feel like God has forgotten about me, or that He has given me the short end of the stick… I don’t know…
But, I thank God that (and I think it’s for real this time) I have learned contentment. I had a dream overnight, and all I did was help people send emails. The joy that was in my heart was out of this world! I woke up (and, actually, went to sleep) with the song “Background”, by Lecrae, in my head; I felt as if God was telling me, “Dayo, what if I want you to stay in the background?” The answer was yes. Perhaps I have been feeling as though God doesn’t want to use me anymore, so I have been feeling overlooked (in every aspect of my life); I have been feeling like an afterthought, not because of man, but because I didn’t feel useful to God anymore! So, I have been craving prominence, wanting to be in the foreground, hoping that God would notice me and decide to use me again… how messed up is that?!?! I was subconsciously trying to manipulate my Maker… 😥
That was yesterday! I praise God because I have learned to be satisfied with where He has me! There is a reason for it. I can truly say, with confidence, what Paul was saying, that he can do ALL THINGS– even being content– because God granted him strength and grace! I wonder what the journey was like for him. God is an awesome teacher! He taught me this lesson in the most gentle and humbling way.
I am now looking at things differently!
Today has been a very interesting day.
I woke up from another terrible dream, prayed, and did my morning routine. I listened to a sermon that talked about things that kill marriages (I pray none of our marriages and homes will be destroyed, in Jesus name). Then I went to lunch with one of my friends; we talked about many things– I was able to stock up on some fruits and veggies, so I thank God for that lunch date. Afterwards, I came back to my apartment to find that my wonderful mother had bought me some sweaters; I never expected it! Then this random guy contacted me. Then I had a moment where I wanted to disappear and RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING! Then watched a movie about a condition called preeclapsia (http://www.preeclampsia.org/), which made it really scary to be pregnant. Then I went to Nav Night, and the guest speaker shared his story of how he came to Christ, and it really touched my heart; I cried because it’s such a beautiful story, showing us that Jesus is a faithful servant, the most faithful. Now I am writing this blog post/journal.
The one thing that I really wanted to talk about is the fact that the random guy contacted me. He called me, then texted me. It turned out that a lady at my church had given him my number, which I’m not really a fan of– I thank God I was able to let her know my feelings about it in a nice, respectful way. I felt weird because I’m on a man-fast, I’m not supposed to be in contact with any “potentials”– but this man isn’t even close. Anyway, honestly, I wasn’t surprised because it always seems as though every time you want to do something specific, something comes to step in the way to try to distract you. A part of me felt like it was a test from God, but the other part of me felt like I passed. Even if it wasn’t a test, I’m grateful to God that I was able to tell the guy, in the nicest way possible, that I am solely focused on God.
Being focused is a great thing. I feel like I am sensing things more clearly. I feel like I am being put in circumstances where I have to “come face-to-face” with God, myself, my view of God, and my relationship with Him.
Overall, today wasn’t a giddy day like the last two days have been. But, the thing is, one doesn’t quit a commitment because of a bad day. I will continue to keep my eyes and my heart GLUED on my master, my Father, my husband, my savior. Although I can’t say I know who God showed Himself to be today (He was everything), I just thank Him because I just know He was (still is, and will continue to be) with me!
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9, NIV).
Day 2 went well, glory to God. I thank God for allowing me to start the day in prayer. I woke up today from a terrible dream, but I thank God that the Holy Spirit removed the fear and put me in an act of worship instead. Praise God for that!
After prayer, I washed the bathrooms at my apartment (it was my turn this week; now I don’t have to wash them anymore). Then, and this is the highlight of the day (one of the highlights), one of my friends called to encourage me about my mission! I felt the encouragement of God! I felt the love of God upon me– she went out of her way to encourage me! Here are a few points she made:
These were the main points of our conversation. I was so happy because it was needed, much needed. It was important for me to be reminded on those things and continue to focus on God and His work in my life. As a missionary, life is hard, but my God is better!
The rest of the day was filled with being in the presence of God. I was of reminded why it is important to have good Christian friends, friends you can watch something with, confirm whether or not it’s in the Bible, encourage each other, get blown away by revelations, and then pray together… It is ABSOLUTELY priceless! My two friends came to visit me, alleviating my alone-ness; it was a pleasure to have them around.
After, we went to choir practice. I came back, had dinner, watched some videos, talked with my pastor (who also encouraged me), and now I am writing this (journal).
I thank God! I’m happy for His encouragement! He sees my future– my future is secure in Him alone! I’m grateful and happy about that!
Now, I’ll go spend some quality time with my Father!
“My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning…” (Psalm 130:6)
Today is February 1st. Glory to God! Oh, February! The month of love (so I call it 🙂 )
Since I became a follower of Jesus, the month of February has been a month strictly dedicated to Jesus, a month where I am conscious of showing my love to Christ. I try to do different things each year; last year, for example, I was able to survive the Daniel’s fast (with some alterations, for health reasons). This year, by the grace of God I am doing a man fast.
I first heard of a man fast from a friend with whom I served in Croatia. Then, early last month, when asking God about how I can show Him love this time around, I saw an article on Facebook about a man fast; I was intrigued. I tried researching into a man fast really is, but I got little info– the title itself is self explanatory; the women who have done it simply focused more on God and didn’t entertain men who could be romantic partners. Anyway, my aim and hope is that I’ll be in God’s bosom, embedded in His heart, and grow more intimate with Him!
So… Day 1:
I prayed A LOT! I prayed those Nigerian fire-thunder-die prayers… very refreshing, I must add. I am grateful to God that I did that because it showed me how much I missed praying. I also listened to a lot of sermons, which was helpful as well. Perhaps the most important part of the day was reading the Word! I read Isaiah 14, and verse one really struck me, “The Lord will have compassion on Jacob; once again he will choose Israel and will settle them in their own land” (NIV). I love this verse because it shows the caring (loving– He can’t help Himself because He is love) nature of God. It encouraged me that, at the end of the day, God is on my side.
But, what I was reminded of, which is the whole point of this fast for me, was that God is my satisfier. I can do a man fast from now till Kingdom come, but if I am not completely satisfied (focused) in Christ, this entire month will just be a month will be a waste. I thank God for reminding me that it’s all about Him– and He did it in the most gentle way!
So, I think Day 1 was successful. I really enjoyed being in the presence of God, being able to just take the day to pray, hear His word, and bask in His ambiance! Here’s to 28 more days! I expect more days to be challenging than others, but I am at rest in the fact that His grace and mercy will see me through each day! Praise Jesus for that assurance!