Day 5: My Provider

“And my God will meet all [my] needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19, NIV).

Praise the Lord!

I thank God for another day! Today was very busy, but very fulfilling! I was able to get some groceries today! For someone who has no source of income, being able to buy what you need is glorious! I bought things I needed (and a little bit of things I wanted). All glory belongs to God, though. Anyway, today was filled with snow and running errands. But even in the midst of all of that, God opened my eyes to see beauty! There’s always beauty.

Snow_Umass

But, what I really want to talk about tonight is God’s provision for me. I used to think that God being a provider meant that He gives money, nothing else; but He provides in so many ways (i.e. comfort, favor, etc), and I was able to experience at least one more way today.

Not so long ago a friend of mine, out of the goodness of her heart, gave me a $50 gift card. She said, “You need it more than I do.” A part of me was overwhelmed by such love and sacrifice (the gift card was a gift to her as well), the other part of me was sad because I was (am) in such a state of dire financial need. Anyway, I accepted the gift thinking that I’d save it and pass it on to someone else who would need it. That was the plan until I realized I needed some groceries. I was asking God how I would get them. I thought that I was going to use the last $10 I had, which was supposed to be a savings. Then I remembered the gift card. I took it with me to the store thinking just in case. Long story short, the things I got exceeded $10. So, I used the gift card. I thank God for my friend. What’s more is that I had some visitors today, a lovely couple! They came to spend some time with me, and I, again, used the card to get something for them to eat. The card was a blessing to others as well! I just kept thinking about how God knew that I would need help.

What’s more is that my my campus supervisor asked me to send him a report of my week. He asked me about my physical, emotional, and spiritual state of being. I was so glad he asked because lately I have been feeling as though no one asks me how I am doing (physically, emotionally– especially emotionally). It may not necessarily be true, but I have been feeling that way. I was happy because God used my supervisor to answer a prayer that I didn’t even pray for– it was more of a desire. So, He provided an outlet for me!

I am honestly grateful to God for His provision! He keeps supplying all my needs! All of them! 

Day 4: My Teacher

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:12-13, NIV).

CONTENTMENT!!!! 

I thought I had already learned this… but no; just learned it overnight. We must be content in every aspect of our lives. An author says this, “The Bible has a great deal to say about contentment—being satisfied with what we have, who we are, and where we’re going” (http://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-contentment.html).  I have learned to be satisfied with who I am (a woman with physical and emotional scars; I am short; I have one eye that’s “lazy”; I love to sing, cook, clean, write, etc). I am satisfied with where I am going (my future and destination are secured in God’s hands). What I have been having problems with is what I have! I don’t think I have a lot, according to me (but I have A LOT more than other people in other parts of the world).

WHY AM I NOT SATISFIED/CONTENT WITH WHAT I HAVE?

Perhaps it’s because I had an expectation that is not being met; perhaps it’s because I feel like God has forgotten about me, or that He has given me the short end of the stick… I don’t know…

But, I thank God that (and I think it’s for real this time) I have learned contentment. I had a dream overnight, and all I did was help people send emails. The joy that was in my heart was out of this world! I woke up (and, actually, went to sleep) with the song “Background”, by Lecrae, in my head; I felt as if God was telling me, “Dayo, what if I want you to stay in the background?” The answer was yes. Perhaps I have been feeling as though God doesn’t want to use me anymore, so I have been feeling overlooked (in every aspect of my life); I have been feeling like an afterthought, not because of man, but because I didn’t feel useful to God anymore! So, I have been craving prominence, wanting to be in the foreground, hoping that God would notice me and decide to use me again… how messed up is that?!?! I was subconsciously trying to manipulate my Maker… 😥

That was yesterday! I praise God because I have learned to be satisfied with where He has me! There is a reason for it. I can truly say, with confidence, what Paul was saying, that he can do ALL THINGS– even being content– because God granted him strength and grace! I wonder what the journey was like for him. God is an awesome teacher! He taught me this lesson in the most gentle and humbling way.

I am now looking at things differently!

Day 3: My… All

Today has been a very interesting day.

I woke up from another terrible dream, prayed, and did my morning routine. I listened to a sermon that talked about things that kill marriages (I pray none of our marriages and homes will be destroyed, in Jesus name). Then I went to lunch with one of my friends; we talked about many things– I was able to stock up on some fruits and veggies, so I thank God for that lunch date. Afterwards, I came back to my apartment to find that my wonderful mother had bought me some sweaters; I never expected it! Then this random guy contacted me. Then I had a moment where I wanted to disappear and RUN AWAY FROM EVERYTHING! Then watched a movie about a condition called preeclapsia (http://www.preeclampsia.org/), which made it really scary to be pregnant. Then I went to Nav Night, and the guest speaker shared his story of how he came to Christ, and it really touched my heart; I cried because it’s such a beautiful story, showing us that Jesus is a faithful servant, the most faithful. Now I am writing this blog post/journal.

The one thing that I really wanted to talk about is the fact that the random guy contacted me. He called me, then texted me. It turned out that a lady at my church had given him my number, which I’m not really a fan of– I thank God I was able to let her know my feelings about it in a nice, respectful way. I felt weird because I’m on a man-fast, I’m not supposed to be in contact with any “potentials”– but this man isn’t even close. Anyway, honestly, I wasn’t surprised because it always seems as though every time you want to do something specific, something comes to step in the way to try to distract you. A part of me felt like it was a test from God, but the other part of me felt like I passed. Even if it wasn’t a test, I’m grateful to God that I was able to tell the guy, in the nicest way possible, that I am solely focused on God.

Being focused is a great thing. I feel like I am sensing things more clearly. I feel like I am being put in circumstances where I have to “come face-to-face” with God, myself, my view of God, and my relationship with Him.

Overall, today wasn’t a giddy day like the last two days have been. But, the thing is, one doesn’t quit a commitment because of a bad day. I will continue to keep my eyes and my heart GLUED on my master, my Father, my husband, my savior. Although I can’t say I know who God showed Himself to be today (He was everything), I just thank Him because I just know He was (still is, and will continue to be) with me!

Day 2: My Encourager

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9, NIV).

Day 2 went well, glory to God. I thank God for allowing me to start the day in prayer. I woke up today from a terrible dream, but I thank God that the Holy Spirit removed the fear and put me in an act of worship instead. Praise God for that!

After prayer, I washed the bathrooms at my apartment (it was my turn this week; now I don’t have to wash them anymore). Then, and this is the highlight of the day (one of the highlights), one of my friends called to encourage me about my mission! I felt the encouragement of God! I felt the love of God upon me– she went out of her way to encourage me! Here are a few points she made:

  • God has a purpose for me, so I should stop doubting Him. 
  • As a child of God, I can’t make a mistake– even my “mistakes” aren’t mistakes because at the end of the day, everything works together for good. Therefore, I cannot lose (cue Romans 8). 
  • Don’t look at the present situation because our God is a God of the future. 
  • For mission: remember how God confirmed your work to you in the first place. Hold onto that because it is your revelation. 
  • When God gives you something, don’t undermine (or question) it. 
  • Remind yourself why you decided to even do the work of God in the first place. 
  • Remember that destiny involves a breaking. 
  • ASK GOD TO ORDER YOUR STEPS. 

These were the main points of our conversation. I was so happy because it was needed, much needed. It was important for me to be reminded on those things and continue to focus on God and His work in my life. As a missionary, life is hard, but my God is better!

The rest of the day was filled with being in the presence of God. I was of reminded why it is important to have good Christian friends, friends you can watch something with, confirm whether or not it’s in the Bible, encourage each other, get blown away by revelations, and then pray together… It is ABSOLUTELY priceless! My two friends came to visit me, alleviating my alone-ness; it was a pleasure to have them around.

After, we went to choir practice. I came back, had dinner, watched some videos, talked with my pastor (who also encouraged me), and now I am writing this (journal).

I thank God! I’m happy for His encouragement! He sees my future– my future is secure in Him alone! I’m grateful and happy about that!

Now, I’ll go spend some quality time with my Father!

Dear Single People,

“He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord” (Psalm 113:9, NIV).

This post is not about parenting but I believe it captures what I want to talk about.

If you think you’ve been “barren” for too long, I want to encourage you today that God is able to take you out of that barrenness and make you flourish! That’s it. That’s the message.

But let me ask you: how many announcements of engagements, weddings, babies, etc. have you seen in the last month? For me, I can count at least 5. While you may be happy for these people, perhaps you’ve heard a tiny voice at the back of your mind asking you, “When will it be your turn?”  Please don’t entertain that voice; it won’t get you anywhere. Trust me, I know.

Yes, I do not know how long you’ve been waiting (and please know that I am not trying to be insensitive) but understand that God can even bring your spouse right now in He wants, so don’t lose heart. Waiting requires patience. I believe God is preparing you and your spouse for something great (and also challenging because marriage is no joke)! Look at the thought and beauty of Creation! God prepared things Adam needed before He created Adam. Imagine if Adam was created first; I reckon he would have been in the way, giving God his opinions on how things should be — why? Because that’s what human beings do; we try to suggest to God how He should do things… but I digress. Anyway, God saw that Adam needed a “helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18, NIV), so He created Eve from and for Adam, and my dude said, ” ‘At last!’ ” (Genesis 2:23, NLT). In other words, Adam praised God for the special and specific beauty God created especially for him, even more than he praised God for everything else.

So, friends, relax! God knows when and why you need a spouse. When it comes to God’s timing, know that He is never late and never early but ALWAYS on time. Biological clock has nothing on you; ask Sarah! God is able, sisters! When your husband sees you, he too will say ” ‘At last! This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh!’ ” (Genesis 2:23, NLT). Wouldn’t you rather hear that than something else– like, “Oh… this is it? I expected more, God.”

Today, I have a new found knowledge, peace, and happiness. I want the same for you, friends! Getting to this point hasn’t been easy; it’s taken me almost a year! But I don’t want that for you. Although I haven’t been waiting too long, I’m secure knowing that leaving everything in my Father’s hands is best. He knows the best for me, so I ain’t go no worries! 🙂 🙂 🙂

My friends, when you leave everything in God’s hands, simply let it go. He’s able to do something great with it, for you.

I Don’t Feel Like It

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power” (Ephesians 6:10, NIV).

Ring- for blog post

He put a ring on it!

No, I’m not engaged… yet, but God put a ring on it! The ring is symbolic of my commitment to Him; it reminds me that I am His first and always before I am my husband’s.

I wear the ring on Wednesdays because I like Wednesdays; I choose to dress up, be girly, be reminded of my commitment to God (not that I am not reminded everyday)… Today was different, though, because I didn’t feel like doing all of that; I was a bit angry with God. Praying was like pulling teeth, thanksgiving was even worse; quiet time was hard to do.

But while talking to God about why I didn’t want to do anything today, I believe God spoke to me and said: When you’re married, what would you do when you don’t feel like being a wife? I thought about it and wondered whether I would run away or give my husband the ring back. But I learned a lesson in my discourse with God: it’s not about the ring, but the person. It is not about the ring but the person.

My commitment to God should not be about a ring I put on my finger or the level of happiness I feel; it should not be about whether or not God gives me the million dollars I’ve been praying for or the 2017 Mercedes-Benz E-Class. What if I never get those things, would I say “Forget you, God”? No. The lesson: my commitment to God is not based on whether I feel like committing; it is based on His character: the steadfastness, the faithfulness, the great love, the kindness, the righteousness, the holiness, the goodness, the justice. It is always about who He is.

Bringing this to marriage, although I am not married yet, I now know that, by God’s grace, when I don’t feel like being a wife, I won’t take my ring off or stop cooking for my husband– regardless, my status as a wife won’t change based on my feelings. Being married is a commitment– love is a decision backed by action. So, I will commit and still love, respect, honor, and submit to my husband because he is God’s choice for me. I will (must) remember who he is, his character, why God chose him for me, his love for me, etc.

A lot of us don’t feel like doing a lot of things, but we want the results of those things, right? But, imagine if God deals with us based on His feelings! My friends, let us continue to commit to God regardless of our feelings– this is not to say that our feelings do not matter to God. Let us continue in our relationship with him, knowing that His strength and mighty power is at work in us; that He is indeed God. And this will extend to all our other relationships.