Longing for THAT kind of LOVE

“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave… Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away” (Song of Solomon 8:6-7, NIV).

If you know anything about me, you know I am a hopeful romantic… because I have hope in Jesus (get it?!) *cue awkward pity chuckle*

Anywhoo… February is the month of love! I celebrate love every February by doing something I don’t normally do. This year, I anchored myself in reading Song of Solomon, a book about love, body image, romance, sex, sensuality… yes, it’s in the Bible. And you say the Bible is boring! I chose this because it celebrates all the types of love (phileo, storge, eros, and agape) in the context of courtship and marriage.

I want to share how reading this book this month has affected me. As a single woman, Song of Solomon ignited in me a strong desire to experience love the way the lovers did– three times it is said “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (2:7, 3:5, 8:4), so I guess now I’m chilling until I can handle love haha! The book is set up, in my mind, like a play following the different stages between the lovers, from meeting, to courtship, to wedding, to first sexual encounter, and the mature married life. And each stage just left me amazed! The attention that each was giving the other, the appreciation, the sacrifice, and the love really got me.

Two parts really stood out to me, chapters 4 and 5. In the beginning of chapter 4, we meet the lovers on their wedding night! What is so beautiful is that the man, presumably Solomon, went after his wife’s heart first, not her body. In so many words, he let her know that he appreciated her, was willing to provide for her, and he professed the effects she had on him! His words drew her in. And they weren’t shallow words just to get it in. Her response? She surrendered willingly to him– so, guys, take note. And we can imagine their first night together as husband and wife was awesome. There’s this awesome part between chapters 4 &5 where the woman started off saying her sexuality is hers and in the end he says that it’s his, showing belonging! Later on in chapter 5, after the couple had their first fight, the woman was thinking about her him, and something lit up in her to recognize her wrong, but to also appreciate her man! She sought reconciliation and it was given, and not begrudgingly.

All this is great and all, but beyond this desire to experience life, love, and everything in between with my own husband, I have a desire to know Jesus more! I want to pour my affections on Him! Throughout the course of the book, the woman expressed her longing just to be in her lover’s presence. She wanted to be near him because she was secure in his love for her! And I’m like, Jesus, please help me to desire YOU more than I desire a husband! In chapter 3 she repeated “the one my heart loves” three times! I want to love Jesus. I want to love His presence! I want to love His character! I want to love who He is! That won’t happen if I don’t know Him! After spending so much time in this book, I am realizing that, more and more, I can’t love Him if I don’t know Him. I can’t search for Him if I don’t know Him! I cannot live for His love and presence if I don’t know Him! So, Father, help me to know you more! I want to live my life, single or married, knowing the one that my heart loves! I think this is the greater point of Song of Solomon.

Don’t get me wrong. I’d love to have that kind of love, one where I am secure in my husband’s love for me, one where I can experience sexual love with God’s approval, one where I can fight with my husband and be quick to forgive… but none of that will matter if I am not first and foremost secure in His love for me– He loved from the beginning, and eternity is a long time to continue to bask in THAT LOVE!

I have loved spending time reading Song of Solomon. I feel more free to surrender my singleness to Jesus, knowing that I am secure in His hands. While I am waiting for my earthly husband, I will continue to get to know my heavenly One!


Dear Single People,

“He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord” (Psalm 113:9, NIV).

This post is not about parenting but I believe it captures what I want to talk about.

If you think you’ve been “barren” for too long, I want to encourage you today that God is able to take you out of that barrenness and make you flourish! That’s it. That’s the message.

But let me ask you: how many announcements of engagements, weddings, babies, etc. have you seen in the last month? For me, I can count at least 5. While you may be happy for these people, perhaps you’ve heard a tiny voice at the back of your mind asking you, “When will it be your turn?”  Please don’t entertain that voice; it won’t get you anywhere. Trust me, I know.

Yes, I do not know how long you’ve been waiting (and please know that I am not trying to be insensitive) but understand that God can even bring your spouse right now in He wants, so don’t lose heart. Waiting requires patience. I believe God is preparing you and your spouse for something great (and also challenging because marriage is no joke)! Look at the thought and beauty of Creation! God prepared things Adam needed before He created Adam. Imagine if Adam was created first; I reckon he would have been in the way, giving God his opinions on how things should be — why? Because that’s what human beings do; we try to suggest to God how He should do things… but I digress. Anyway, God saw that Adam needed a “helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18, NIV), so He created Eve from and for Adam, and my dude said, ” ‘At last!’ ” (Genesis 2:23, NLT). In other words, Adam praised God for the special and specific beauty God created especially for him, even more than he praised God for everything else.

So, friends, relax! God knows when and why you need a spouse. When it comes to God’s timing, know that He is never late and never early but ALWAYS on time. Biological clock has nothing on you; ask Sarah! God is able, sisters! When your husband sees you, he too will say ” ‘At last! This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh!’ ” (Genesis 2:23, NLT). Wouldn’t you rather hear that than something else– like, “Oh… this is it? I expected more, God.”

Today, I have a new found knowledge, peace, and happiness. I want the same for you, friends! Getting to this point hasn’t been easy; it’s taken me almost a year! But I don’t want that for you. Although I haven’t been waiting too long, I’m secure knowing that leaving everything in my Father’s hands is best. He knows the best for me, so I ain’t go no worries! 🙂 🙂 🙂

My friends, when you leave everything in God’s hands, simply let it go. He’s able to do something great with it, for you.

What if I Marry a White man?


“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies” (Proverbs 31:10, NIV).

On our last night in Croatia, we went to a restaurant for dinner. The food was good but our conversations were way better! One of the things we talked about was marriage, one of my favorite subjects. A wonderful woman asked me a question along the lines of who I’ll be if I end up marrying someone who is not Nigerian. I told her that if I do end up marrying a White man, an American for example, then I’ll be an American wife. She said something that I’ve been thinking about since, that my response sounded as if I’ll losing a sense of self. Huh….

After hours of pondering her response, I came up with more questions than answers: what kind of a wife do I want to be? Does it have to depend on who I marry or what culture I marry into? What does it mean to be an American or a Nigerian wife? Do I know who Elizabeth is? Do I even know myself? I do not have all the (correct) answers but I do know that I want to be a wife God is proud of. At the end of the day, I am a child of God who has different roles– I hope to honor God in all of them.

What does it mean to be a child of God? It means I must follow in Jesus’ footsteps, looking more and more like Him daily; I must be transformed by the renewal of my mind (Romans 12: 1-2) daily; I must live in absolute surrender to Him; I must abide in Him (John 15), etc. Being a child of God means living according to His Word. The Word of God, the Bible, has a few things to say about wives, marriage, etc. In my little knowledge of the Bible, any mention of wives or their roles/duties never specified anything regarding culture or race or ethnicity. What that means for me is that when I do become a wife, I should obey what the Bible says about that role. I think it’s that simple (but not really). What I am saying is that I am a child of God and I belong to Him always before I can be called anyone’s wife.

So, what if I marry a White man? Continue reading “What if I Marry a White man?”